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My Dark Memory of Falun Gong

2016-01-22 Source:kaiwind Author:Luo Youjia


Recent photo of Luo Youjia

I am Luo Youjia, a 41-year-old woman living at No. 23, Laodong Village, Beibei District, Chongqing Municipality. I had been obsessed with Falun Gong but now I very much regret my obsession with the cult. I got married in 1998 and at that time, my husband and I were living in a two-bedroom apartment. We were not rich, but we were very happy. My husband was very considerate and attended to the family. We were an affectionate couple then.

After I gave birth to a child, I often felt pains in my lower abdomen together with occasional vaginal bleeding. I was diagnosed with cervical erosion. After a period of treatment, the disease was not cured so I was bothered by it very much. At a family dinner in 2008, my aunt learned of my sufferings and said to me, “I guess it is because you did not practice Falun Gong. You see, I have been in good health since I started practicing it. I seldom get sick now.”Thus I began practicing Falun Gong. A couple of months later, I felt better and thought that Falun Gong was amazing.

I got copies of the book Zhuan Falun, the tapes on Falun Gong and a portrait of Li Hongzhi. I practiced Falun Gong every morning and was lost in thinking about how to be a diligent practitioner. Gradually, I got obsessed with the teachings and thought they were very reasonable. I was enticed by Li Hongzhi’s saying about “Cultivate away fame, material interest, and emotion; Reach Consummation, ascending the firmament.” In order to get rid of attachments to emotions, fame and wealth, to ascend to higher levels,achieve consummation and become immortal, I took a leave of absence from work and devoted all my attention to Falun Gong.

I was from a poor family. My husband and I were hard up and we had to support our daughter who was still in primary school. After I stopped working, my husband became the only breadwinner in our family. He was really worried about my obsession with Falun Gong and said to me, “Practicing Falun Gong cannot make money. Nowadays, the competition has intensified. If you do not work hard, you will lose your job.”He added, “You have been practicing for a long time. Did it cure your disease? Why are you getting thinner?” I knew my condition was not cured. But I attributed it to the fact that I did not practice very hard. I turned a deaf ear to my husband’s advice. I remembered my master’s words, “Cultivation means to get rid of desires and attachment. It is not necessary to be bothered by trivialities. ”During the following days, I read teachings and practiced Falun Gong very hard, and left all family affairs to my husband. While my husband was kept busy with chores, I got increasingly obsessed with Falun Gong. In order to achieve consummation, I cut our living cost to buy facilities to produce publicity materials, though my husband’s income did not meet our needs.

In the summer of 2009, it was very hot. Our home was as hot as a sauna for we did not have an air-conditioner. One day, when my daughter got home from school, she asked for a popsicle. I would have met her demand if I did not practice Falun Gong, but Falun Gong has made me so blind that I said to my daughter, “You’ll feel cool if you calm down. You’ll feel better if you join me to practice Falun Gong.”Then I left my daughter and went to practice.

My daughter had no options but to drink some un-boiled water and then went to do her homework. At midnight, I heard my daughter moan. My husband and I went to her room and found that our girl was suffering from stomachache. My husband wanted to take her to hospital, but I tried to stop him. I said, “It is useless to go to hospital. Don’t waste the money. That’s the punishment for you because you do not believe in Falun Dafa. If you follow me to practice Falun Gong, you’ll never get sick and will become immortal.”My husband was so angry that he slapped me on my face. He yelled at me, “You see what you have done. Are you qualified for a mother?” Then he took our girl to the hospital,but I shouted at his back, “You deserve it for you do not practice Falun Gong.”

After that, I became alienated from my husband and daughter and my daughter’s cheers and laughter disappear from my home.

In 2010, my daughter was in fifth grade. My husband sent her to my mother’s home. Since my husband was busy with his work in work days and went to see our daughter at weekends, my home was quiet and deserted.

One day in November 2011, I went to my mother’s house and tried to take my daughter home, but the girl was reluctant to go home with me. I was angry and hit the girl. My mother scolded me, “What are you doing? You’re really perverse. Are you going to ruin your daughter’s future? ”I went home alone and I was very upset. In the deserted home, I began thinking about why my husband, my daughter and my mother alienated me and wondering whether I was wrong.

I eventually got through the dark time. I felt it was like a nightmare. I went back to work, and took my daughter back home. Our family is together again. What a relief to see smiles back on the faces of my husband and our daughter!