It was before Mother’s Day. The night was so quiet and calm, and the insects were singing vigorously outside the window, but I was rolling from side to side on the bed, unable to fall asleep at all. Recalling the teaching in Standards For Students I read during the day—“When my parents call me, I will answer them right away; when they ask me to do something, I will do it quickly; when my parents instruct me, I will listen respectfully; when my parent reproach me, I will obey and accept their scolding … ,” my heart became even more difficult to calm down. Thinking of my aged mother who was nearly eighty-years old lonely at home, I couldn’t help but burst into tears sadly. Memories of the painful past returned to me—vivid，but heartbreaking.
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My name is Wu Wei (assumed name). I was born into an intellectual family in the 1960s. At that time, my father was teaching in another place all year round, and my mother had to work hard from morning to evening, day in and day out, to support the whole family with her weak shoulders. Due to my poor health from an early age, I received the most love and care from our parents among the four children in our family; and I was also the one that worries my parents most. In my memory, my mother used to work in the field carrying me on her back, and I would always fall asleep on her back unknowingly. To me, my mother’s back was the safest and warmest place in the world.
Yet all these had changed since the year 1997. In August that year, introduced by my good friend, I started to practice Falun Gong, and I also instigated my mother to practice it, too. After she read the following words in the book Zhuan Falun— “The one who gives birth to your Primordial Spirit is your real mother. In the course of samsara, you have had mothers who were human and non-human, and there are too many of them to be numbered…Who is your mother? Who is your son or daughter? No one knows it after one passes away. But the karma you have owed has to be paid off anyway” and “If you want to practice cultivation, the sentimentality must be relinquished,” my kind and wise mother soon perceived that Li Hongzhi was not spreading Buddha Fa, but preaching his fallacies with concealed intentions. So, she gave up practice determinedly and tried her best to stop me. Fascinated by Li Hongzhi’s promises of “With Consummation, in flight you will ascend, Together returning to Paradise” at that time, I didn’t follow my mother’s well-meant advice, but instead thought of the words that Master Li had already claimed in a book, “Now that the Dafa of the Universe that can save sentient beings and is hard to encounter for trillions of years has been brought in front of you, why should you not know how to value it? What a poor understanding! A useless man can’t be made good!” My filial piety to and admiration for my mother for all of these years had quickly faded away, replaced by a strong resentment in my heart for her failure to fulfill my expectations.
Even after Falun Gong had been banned by the government according to law, I still went everywhere to “spread the Fa” and “clarify the truth” without considering my future career or family happiness. My mother, now old and weak, upon knowing my illegal activities, kept on dissuading me but all in vain. Suddenly, she fell on her knees in front of me, not even caring about losing dignity, trying to stop me from falling further into the cult. However, at that time still filled in my mind with Li Hongzhi’s “Fa teaching” of “Giving up the attachment of affection for family，all these are wretched demons”, I foolishly thought that my mother was just the “wretched demon” who was trying to prevent me from “defending the Dafa and going towards Consummation”. So, I raised my “demon-eliminating” palm madly as if losing conscience, and slapped hard at my aged mother who had raised me up and now became gaunt and withered. I also murmured to myself: “I’m beating you to wake you up, the wretched demon who wants to destroy the Dafa!” My mother, covering her face with her hands, stared at me with eyes full of tears, sadness, and despair…But, thinking of Li Hongzhi’s “Fa teaching” of “Giving up the affection for family, giving up the attachment” and “With Consummation, in flight you will ascend”, I slammed the door ruthlessly and rushed out without a glance back, leaving my mother, the white-haired “wretched demon”, sitting paralyzed on the ground…