Male-Female Dual Cultivation Spoils Her Happiness
By: Lin Yujie
Xiaomei is one of my students; she is elegant, pure and innocent. As we are of the same age and live in the same city, we become more friends than teacher and student. However, since she started to practice Falun Gong, she had become distant and numb, and eventually discarded her family like a paranoid. During those years, I was always concerned about her whereabouts. One day I happened to see her, she held me in her arms and could not help crying bitterly. When she calmed down, she told me her story of cultivation, which made me furious: How conscienceless the cult Falun Gong has actually been! It shamelessly advocates the so-called "Male-Female Dual Cultivation" in the name of gaining Consummation!
Here below is her account of her own experience.
I got married in June 1996. Plain as I was, I was lucky to marry a handsome and talented husband. Although he said he was attracted by my unique feminine temperament, I still dreamed to be more beautiful so that I would match him. This desire became even stronger when I grew fatter after giving birth to my daughter. Just at that time, I was introduced to Falun Gong and soon allured by the fabrication of Li Hongzhi in Zhuan Falun, "After our Falun Dafa students cultivate a while the way they look changes a lot. Their skin becomes delicate and fair, it glows with health...This is all common...you truly do a dual practice of nature and longevity you'll naturally get that, and I can guarantee you won't need to have facials." I read this with ecstasy as if I've found treasure and then adhered to Falun Gong firmly.
After a period of cultivation, I felt my skin did become delicate, which made me more enchanted with Falun Gong. When I knew I could even cultivate myself a fairy, I believed the luck had favored me again. I seized the opportunity with thankfulness and regarded the words of Mater as a decree.
The Master said in Zhuan Falun, "You are unable to practice cultivation if you don't abandon sentiment and desire or don't give up the ordinary heart. Right in the midst of ordinary people you have to get rid of every bit of all those bad thoughts you have, and that's the only way you can improve and go up. You can only be elevated and go to the Paradise after you abandon all affection and desire in the world." He also said in Teaching Fa in Australia that, "If someone can break out of affection, then that person is divine." Those words were a head-on blow on me and plunged me into a tortuous dilemma: if I reject affections from my husband, are we still the couple? If I don't, I cannot do real cultivation.
When I was hesitating, I read the words of the Master in Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students, "The truth is, you're no longer one of the ordinary human beings, and you couldn't even go back anymore, you really can't. The difference between you and ordinary people has grown downright large." In Zhuan Falun, the Master said clearly about relation between husband and wife, "From a high-level perspective, everyday people are playing with mud while in society without realizing that it is dirty. They are playing with mud on earth." I suddenly understood: I am not an ordinary person any more; I am a deity and how can we deities play with ordinary people? Moreover, with the affection in my heart, I can never cultivate myself! Since then, I restrained from my husband adamantly. At first, my husband thought I was not feeling well and tried to refrain himself; later, when he found I was in high spirit and did not seem to be uncomfortable, he tried to persuade me tenderly and passionately. To tell the truth, lying in the arms of my husband was truly an enjoyment for me, however, neither dare I enjoy this happiness nor can I tell him the truth, because when I started to practice Falun Gong in 1999, the government had already banned it. I suffered a lot mentally.
But the Master said in True Cultivation from Essentials for Further Advancement, "As a matter of fact, when you agonize over infringements upon your reputation, self-interest, and feelings among everyday people, it already indicates that you cannot let go of ordinary human attachments. You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful–the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain...you don't let go of those filthy things that you cling to in this filthy world, and you even agonize over the most trivial losses." Reading this, I thought my suffering originated from my attachment, so I did not care my husband's feelings any more and separated with him decisively.
As a wife, rejecting my husband's familarity with me, I felt remorseful and uneasy after all. My regret grew even stronger when I saw he was working hard for our family, and his blue eyes. On the other hand, as a woman, I also thirsted to nestle up his arms with soft smile and enjoy his care. However, Li Hongzhi's words "Cultivating the heart, severing desires, discarding attachments," and "What do the old forces and the old cosmos see as the gravest thing? Lust...In other words, these things are extremely serious to them. So the old forces and all of the gods in that cosmos will not defend anyone who violates the prohibition on this, anyone who doesn't do well in this regard; in fact they will push you downwards." And the collection of papers in Minghui Cultivating the Heart and Severing Desiresmade me "enlightened" if I was still lingering over lust and desire, my cultivation would be hopeless, and I would even sink into hell. So I told myself I should give up the temptation of lust thoroughly instead of cooking up excuses. For fear that my husband was too tender to resist, I decided to leave home and give up lust completely by hard cultivation.
Now, recalling this, I realize for cultivators like me the asceticism was the stupid persistence; for ordinary person like my husband, that is a wreck to humanity. As Mencius put it, "Appetite for food and sex are human nature." Sexual desire is a natural demand of human beings. Nevertheless, Li Hongzhi declined it as the fetter to cultivation, the hamper to Consummation. How stupid I was to believe it firmly and fulfill it resolutely.
In fact, I was an apple of my parents' eye from childhood, and after marriage, was also coddled by husband; when I had to live all by myself, I felt totally at a loss for I even could not make myself a meal. Just then, I came across a fellow practitioner, who helped me rent a room near his. Since we were both Falun Gong disciples, I was not so vigilant and I spent the all the time with him except sleeping. I lived an appearing happy life since there was no need to vex about my husband's love; however, during the night I felt so lonely in my small room and missed my gentle husband and lovely daughter extremely and dreamed about walking on the road home every night. Then I recalled the words of Li Hongzhi in Cultivators' Avoidances,"Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives," and "If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation." Those words prevented me from going back home.
A few days later, our money was running out, so he suggested we live together to reduce the house rent charge. As Falun Gong disciples, being imbued with "Cultivate your heart and mind, let go of your desires," we had no carnal thoughts and lived peacefully with a drape hanging between us. The following three months, we lived a difficult life.
Later, the fellow practitioner found a job in a restaurant to earn money and came back late every night. I had learned how to cook for this temporary "home." The life was so rough that both of us almost gave up cultivation, but we had already sacrificed too much and there was no turning back. One day, the disciple said to me solemnly, "Let's beginmale-female dual cultivation, and that will shorten the time to reach Consummation." To convince me, he read me the words of "Male-Female Dual Cultivation" in Zhuan Falun"In the community of cultivators, there is a cultivation practice called double cultivation of a man and a woman.... Double cultivation of a man and a woman is for collecting yin to supplement yang and vice versa with mutual complement for mutual cultivation, enabling the goal of balancing yin and yang to be achieved...Because a human body inherently has yin and yang, with the interactions of yin and yang, it can itself achieve a balance of yin and yang; it can thus give birth to many living beings," "We've discovered that nowadays a lot of men have female master souls, while a lot of women have male master souls. That fits exactly with the celestial phenomenon in which the yin and yang are reversed, where yin is prospering and yang is in decline, as Daoists put it," and "When conjoining the hands, the left hand is on top for males, while the right hand is on top for females. Why is that? It's because the male body is one of pure yang and the female body is one of pure yin. In order to attain a balance of yin and yang, males should suppress the yang and give play to the yin, while females should suppress the yin and give play to the yang."
He also said, "The deity has no concept and they are naked." I was muddled: it was for asceticism that I left my home, now how can I...? So I rejected him. However, he seemed to see me through and explained, "We are the cultivated, not ordinary persons any more. The copulation of the ordinary is dirty, but conjoin of us is divine and great; we do this for Consummation." He continued to tell me about Falun Gong disciples' group cultivation, and how they had been elevated quickly. He encouraged me, "If we perform the dual cultivation, Consummation will be accomplished soon." I had no other choice but to agree with him. When I slept with him, I felt uneasy for I didn't like him at all and he was as old as my father. But for Consummation, I bore all these... Until my husband came to find me, I didn't feel any elevation of myself. On the contrary, facing my righteous husband, I felt ashamed and guilty.
My husband took me home with a strong hand. I felt too shamed when I saw he had already prepared me a good meal. But I was still reluctant to give up the invaluable opportunity to become a deity. Until government instructors invited by my husband analyzed the fearful consequence of practicing Falun Gong did I realize how stupid I was.
After the nightmare, I still felt guilty. Whenever my husband tried to show his affections to me, I thought I did not deserve it, for I was a stain to our chaste love and perfect marriage. After I calmed down, I chose to divorce, although it may not be the best choice, but by doing this, I can still be a woman with the sense of shame.
'Let Go of Fame, Interest and Emotion' Ruins Me
My name is Guo Rong, an employee of Yanan Civil Airport, Shaanxi Province. I started practicing Falun Gong in 1996 with other classmates. Obsessed after reading Zhuan Falun, I started regarding Li Hongzhi as a Buddha who would respond to every plea. I considered Zhuan Falun as a Bible by learning which I could "save the all sentient beings and bring them to Paradise," and "drop out fame, interest and emotion" as the most important test. Finally I got inextricable bogged down in the dismal of Falun Gong. Recollecting the past, I find out that I was totally wrong in the following ten aspects.
First, I stopped taking care of my parents. Before practicing Falun Gong, I was filial, considering their health and comfort, taking good care of them every day. But after practicing, I took no notice of them, let alone cared to their living. They said indignantly, "Falun Gong has deprived us of our son."
Second, I became estranged from my wife, even like a stranger.
Third, I didn't care about my son. When he was ill, I thought his illness "resulted from his Karma." Neither did I take him to see the doctor nor concerned about his life. If anything unexpected had happened to him, I thought, it must have been predestined, because his whole life had been arranged by god in another space. Fortunately he was sent to the hospital by my family and cured, or I would have made an irremediable blunder.
Fourth, I no longer contacted relatives.
Fifth, I refused to join beneficial activities organized by my classmates. My classmates of high school organized the 10th graduation anniversary then. They sent the invitation and called me more than once, urging me to join them. But I thought it was worldly contact and simply would not go.
Sixth, I stopped showing mercy to beggars as I used to do. Since I was convinced of what Li Hongzhi said, I lost all compassion and saw the plight of beggars as "karma" that they had committed in the previous life, and they ought to suffer to repay the karmic debts. Therefore, I no longer gave them anything or help, believing it was the best for them.
Seventh, I stopped making donation to victims of natural disasters. I had been always ready and supportive when the Airport organized donation activities, contributing money or other stuff. But since I believed in Li Hongzhi, I became as cold-hearted as him and thought the victims deserved to the plight which was a divine retribution for their karma committed in the last existence. So I never gave a single dime again when called on to make a donation. Not even for the worst floods ever occurred along the Yangtze valley in south China and Songhua River valley in 1998.
Eighth, I didn't take part in the national higher education exams for self-taught adults. Before practicing Falun Gong, I was making efforts to pass exams for adults to gain a college diploma. I was also working hard in the hope of getting a promotion to section chief from team leader that I had served as for years. But I gave up all those hopes after practicing Falun Gong, regarding them as pursuit of fame and material interest. I became lethargic and degenerate, clinging to the illusion that I might become an immortal someday.
Ninth, I didn't work hard. At the Airport, my main duties were fireman and airstrip guard. I used to be a conscientious employee. But after I started practicing Falun Gong, I shrank from stopping my colleagues when they acted in breach of discipline, even though it was incumbent upon me as a team leader. I simply thought of such action as "committing karma," which was predestined by god. If I had prevented them, I thought, I would have been "immoral" by violating Falun Discipline.
Tenth, I stopped striving to be a model employee. I was unconcerned about the campaign to select model employees through public appraisal, and found such things as rendering meritorious service, striving to be model employee etc., loathsome.
The "Let Go of Fame, Interest and Emotion" trumpeted by Li Hongzhi is indeed a pernicious lie that turned me as hard as nails. And I came within an inch of becoming a good-for-nothing!
True Stories I Personally Experienc While 'Spreading the Fa'
My name is Li Xiuzhu, a Falun Gong practitioner in Beijing. I started practicing Falun Gong in 1994. I felt resentment against the government since it banned Falun Gong on July 22, 1999. Intimidated by Li Hongzhi and his Minghui, I left my family to spread the Fa in April 2001. Since we were living a vagrant life without any income, most of us did not know where we could get the next meal. Even in such a plight we had to spend money buying paper and printing ink to "popularize the Fa."
If anything had gone wrong, we always thought it was because of our mistakes. Never had we had the gut to doubt Li Hongzhi. The timid ones among us dared not go out and post handbills until midnight when there was less risk of being found. Some were frightened so badly that they never lingered in the same place for more than a week, changing residence all the time, fleeing at any sign of trouble. We were constantly overwrought without an instant of rest.
What I witnessed in the eight wandering months had set me thinking. A couple practicing Falun Gong dismissed their little boy of age 10 to their mother over 80 years old, unconcerned about how they managed to live. They even boasted about that in our circle to show that they had abandoned worldly emotions. A practitioner left a child only four months old behind and started spreading the Fa, hiding here and there. Some had their children dropped off from school and took the children with them, depriving the children of their right to study. Although those couples ruined their children's future, they were indifferent to the children's suffering, rejoicing in the illusion that Consummation was approaching.
And it was most distressing to see practitioners who had left home squandering the money sent by those undiscovered practitioners who practiced the Fa at home. They squeezed the money out of their tight budget in the sincere hope of making their fellows' life outside easier. But those outside squandered the money by changing hotel rooms, cell phone numbers frequently when they thought there might be trouble. In addition, they often rented hotel rooms to hold parties. To avoid inviting suspicion, they usually ordered many expensive dishes and drinks. It made me feel really bad seeing this. They often said no matter how much they spent, it was worth it to avoid being discovered. Whenever they went out to spread Falun Gong, they took taxi "to be responsible for the safety of the collectivity." I was appalled to hear, "Do not be concerned, we have plentiful of money!" when we asked those who could access Minghui directly why they spent money in such a careless manner.
In addition, it was agony for me not to be able to return to my cozy home although it was not far away. Sometimes I thought I would be ruined if things went on like that. However, cheated by Li Hongzhi's heresy of Consummation and spiritual elevation and fearful of his threat of total destruction upon renegades, I still thought that someday we would come out of this misery and be rewarded. In this way, more and more ignorant people like me got lured by the promise of a "wonderful Falun Paradise" fabricated by Li Hongzhi and were subject to his total control.
All those days I lived in a despondent mood. Except spreading the Fa, there is nothing left in my life but endless waiting and expecting. Longing for an end to "Fa-rectification" and the advent of the so-called "Revelation of all truth," it was impossible for me to live a normal life with any common sense. I had a premonition then that if I continued like that way for another couple of years, I would find myself not only penniless but mentally collapsed.
After eight months, when I could not stand that any more and went home, I was so tired of living restlessly and evading capture all the time. I witnessed what some Falun Gong practitioners did and I felt puzzled and hatred for that. Consequently, I was then deeply suspicious of the "Consummation" trumpeted by Li Hongzhi.